It’s 3:30 AM, Kochi, Kerala, India. My last day in the country.
I just got off the night train, to make my way to the local airport.
Outside, there are only men working, around the taxi stand, the tea shop, the rickshaw stand..
Should I be worried, stressed?
Not at all. Because I know now that behind each of these unemotional face is a big honest heart. Or for the most part, and you can tell right away. I take my time, having tea, fresh juice, than head to the rickshaw (tuk tuk).
I enjoy my sit back there, knowing it’s probably my last one for a while. My rickshaw driver asks me if he can stop for tea along the way, because it’s cold (not by my standard!). “Sure! No problem! I have time!” I say warmheartedly. He absolutely insists on sharing his tea with me. I am moved to (hidden) tears. The shopkeeper hands me tissues “is it the weather?”
…..
At the airport, there are army guards controlling the entrances, but this is standard fare in India. I go to make my way to the domestic terminal, a tall handsome guard greets me.
“I’m sorry ma’m, the airport is closed until 4:45” (it’s just after 4:15)
- Oh, ok. I was hoping to use the bathroom (...India still rhymes with diarrhea…)
- The bathroom is also closed
- Oh, ok. It’s not much time to wait anyways.
So I walk over to some spot on the floor and get comfy, pulling out my book.
A lady in a grey sari walks by. Instinctively, I look up and smile at her lovingly. She returns the exact sentiment. Oh my god. I speak their language now.
Just then (two minutes have gone by?) the army guard walks over to me and announces the bathroom has opened. I move to the inside of the terminal. Being myself, just really genuine and human, I have single-handedly unlocked a domestic terminal. ;)
I am floating on a cloud. Every interaction feels so intensely real. I am not concerned about the results, about defending my position, about pretending to be strong, that I deserve respect, good prices, etc. This would have been the case while travelling in India in 2009, interacting with rickshaws and people of authority.
So, how does this all fit with the world outside Kerala? Today will be a first test, in two aspects. I will fly to Mumbai and spend the day there. A much more chaotic city, it is not Kerala, but it is still India, a country known (by some/many) for its intensity (and love). Also, I will be able to compare my experience there with my previous one, in 2009. I didn’t think much of it back then. It was awfully chaotic, I was always “protecting” my best interest, saying no to insisting touts, negotiating hard for anything, etc.
When I get to Mumbai, I head to the ‘loo (...). There, not thinking, I again give a warm smile to a woman. The bathroom cleaner as it turns out. Her reaction is immediate, the smile is fully returned, I have yet another WOW moment.
I spend the day trying to get a few things done, in a rather touristy area. Overall, I find the people here much more chaotic indeed, but this time, instead of walking away, I stay present, and I talk.
- “No, sorry, not interested in (what you’re selling) but I’m looking for (XYZ).
- Oh, this way ma’m!” and they do everything they can to help me.
It doesn’t fail. Not once. Their smiles are not always as easy to get, but it doesn’t matter. Now I know. I know I can be much more connected, and I have faith in myself now, not just in humanity, or rather, as an important part of humanity.
Epilogue
Returning to (cold and snowy) Montreal, surrounded by Westerners, the magic mostly faded, sadly. Everywhere, surrounded by people looking the other way, avoiding eye contact. But it wasn’t all gone. Or rather, was it that my presence wasn’t all gone? For one, every moment has been more enjoyable. With respect to others, I still find myself often in situations of enjoyable connexions with friends and with strangers. And those, they existed before as well, it’s not like I suddently woke up from a stupor. It was gradual. I also find others to be more awake. There is definitely mutual appreciation when a stranger and I have a real connexion. In the end, it really only takes one quality interaction to make my day. Hope lives on!
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